Tom Weinberg

Okay, I tried to resist, but attached is my child, Zoey. She looks so placid, but she's lying in wait for somebody in a uniform. Next time you see a FedEx ad about how they deliver anywhere, look for the asterisked exception. That's my address. Actually, it's the house that Zoey permits me to share with her. The day she adopted me (late in 1999), she began protecting the house. Within a week, she took over the block. She is now responsible for the zip code. But aside from well-wrapped gifts (which she feels are intended for her), she destroys nothing. I've learned that most people truly appreciate muddy footprints on new garments.